Tag Archives: Military

The Uncertainty Bubble

It’s been six months since my last post, and life it completely different. In six months:

* Edgar has begun and completed training at Officer Candidate School in Newport, RI. Here’s the thing–he’s still there. Due to some medical clearance complications, he is in student pool while we wade through all the protocols to get his clearance, commission, and orders. It’s been a trip, I tell ya what! And we still don’t know when he’ll get to leave.

NewImage(Leaving for OCS)


(Following the OCS graduation ceremony in Newport, RI)


(Ed gifted me some newborn N-Dubs! N-Dubs of course referring to NWUs, Navy Working Uniform)

* I have moved us out of our house in Plainview. Most of our earthly belongings currently reside in a POD in Lubbock, while I have been camping out in my parents’ house in Fort Worth since May. 


(I moved out of our house the day before the 28th week of my pregnancy)

* I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has exceeded everyone’s expectations and has had zero complications. Definitely a blessing amidst all of life’s uncertainty right now! I was told I may not make it to 34 weeks. 34 weeks came and went. I was told I may go into preterm labor. I’ll be “full term” in 3 days and my body hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary. I was told my baby may have growth restriction. My uterus has done nothing but accommodate and has been measuring LARGE with a still-quite-active baby. I was told there’s a good chance he (yes, HE!) would be breech. He was head-down until a few days before my 32 week ultrasound when he decided to somersault on me. After a weekend of inversions and frozen veggie compresses, he flipped back to vertex and has been that way ever since.


(Baby BOY at 22w5d. He looks just like his daddy!)


(My most recent belly shot. 36 weeks!)



(My sister did some beautiful maternity shots for me several weeks back! She’s on Facebook. Check her out!)

I’ve been living in a bubble of uncertainty for quite some time now. Nothing really has gone “as expected.” We were expecting Edgar to graduate, come back to Plainview one last time, and move with me to Pensacola where we would set up house and prepare for our new baby, together, in the comfort of our own home. Now,  there is a makeshift nursery set up in the corner of my sister’s room, and I’ve been sharing a bed with her. We aren’t sure if Edgar will be able to make it down in time for the birth, and we have no idea when we will be able to move, and at this point we’re not even sure where we are going. 

This sort of uncertainty would devastate some people. I will admit it’s hard, and there are times where we feel more hopeless than faithful. But I also remember that it is in these moments that God teaches me His most important lessons. It has been my experience that the best decisions in life have happened when I really had no choice but to trust Him. It is also in these times that God has spoken through my husband’s sense of intuition to teach me that I can’t depend on “evidence” all the time. God will get us through. He always has. He always does. That is His promise.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength Philippians 4:12-13

 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4


What change a year has brought


2012 was a year of subtle, but important change. I didn’t change jobs or do anything drastic like that, like I had in 2011. 2012 was quiet and subdued for the most part, it was a year of preparation for what is to come in 2013.


In May, Edgar completed his double-major in Business and Music, and began a journey toward a commission in the U.S. Navy. Shortly after my last post, he received his professional recommendation, then his final select letter, then official swore in a few weeks ago. He will be leaving in a few short weeks to begin his training as a Naval officer.

Around that same time, we discovered another equally exciting pieces of news, which has turned our world upside down in the best way possible:



Baby Rollins has been given an estimated due date of 8/14/13, though given my double uterus, could be expected to come in July!

This is why I haven’t posted lately. I have been sick between the flu and morning sickness and relentless fatigue, but this week I am working to push forward through the progesterone-induced fog and get this house ready for our impending move, and revive my writing.

Sometime soon, I will go into a bit more detail of the changes I went through before getting pregnant (hint: it involves a lot of eggs and butterfat). For me, conceiving without medication or struggle, while having PCOS, was a big deal, and it deserves its own post.


What major change has the last year brought for you?

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